Aj Nazir

HI BLOGGERS, ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I KEPT HIDING MY BLOG TO THE VIEWERS. SO, I DECIDED TO SHARE A LITTLE BIT FUNNY STUFFS AS A BEGINNER. WELL, I CURRENTLY ADDICT TO JOKE. ANY JOKES! BUT THE MOST LIKELY JOKES ARE THE MEDICAL JOKES..IT'S NOT  THAT I'M A DOC WANNABE, BUT IT'S A MATTER OF FACT; I'M IN A SCIENCE STREAM.. THAT'S WHY I LOVE THE JOKES SO MUCH..SO, TO THE VIEWERS...PLZ HELP YOURSELF WHILE READING IT.. I MUST SAY,MAYBE IT'S A "READING JOKES" NEXT TIME..LOL!!

The bad and the worse news

A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.

Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.

Man: Well, give me the really bad news first.

Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.

Man: And the bad news?

Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease.

Man: That's great. I was afraid I had cancer!

I've got good and bad

This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

Patient:     Well, give me the bad news first.

Doctor:     You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.

Patient:     That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you     probably tell me, after this?

Doctor:     You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you

My wife is beating me

David: My wife beats me, doctor.

Doctor: Oh dear. How often?

David: Every time we play Scrabble!

We are the best of friends

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."

"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."

Does it hurt when you do this?

Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: Well, don't do that.

You're in great health

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty.

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.

Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

Driving exams worry me

Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests!

Doctor: Don't worry about it. You'll pass eventually.

Liz: I'm the examiner!

Problems remembering

Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!

Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?

Patient: What problem?

A variation

Doctor: Did you take those pills I gave you to improve your memory?

Patient: What pills?

Doctor, should I file my nails?

Patient: Doctor, should I file my nails?

Doctor: No! Throw them away like everybody else.

I would like to havea second opinion

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.

Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out.

Patient: I wanna second opinion.

Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too.

Put me into a fighting mood

Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Did you put something like that in this prescription?

Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill.

What should I do then?

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?

Doctor: Sell!

We need to help these people

A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.

Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!

Nurse: What is it?

Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!

I have good news and bad news

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?

Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.

Patient: What happened?

Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

Patient: Give me the bad news first.

Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?

Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.